There once lived a water carrier. Every morning, as soon as the sun rose, she walked from her home to collect water in two earthen pots that hung from a long pole that she carried across her shoulders. One pot was perfectly formed, the other, although the same shape and size as its counterpart, had a crack in its side. So, whenever they returned to the water carrier’s house it was only ever half full.
For years, the water carrier repeated her journey to and from her house collecting water from the river. As the years passed by, the cracked pot created a story in its head about its level of worthiness and inability to properly perform the job for which it had been created. Eventually, the pain and shame that it felt about its own perceived imperfections, became too much for it to bear.
So, one day as the water carrier knelt beside the river and began her usual task of filling the pots with water, the cracked pot found its voice and said; “I am so sorry. For years and years, I have watched you fill me with water and I can only imagine what a fruitless task it must be for you. As whenever we return to home, I am only ever half full. While in comparison, the other pot is perfect, rarely does it lose a drop of water on our long walk back to our home, but me, I am far from perfect.
This crack in my side, not only does it cause me so much hurt and shame, but it must also cause you to want to get rid of me. Surely, I am only making this long, arduous job that you do each day, that much more difficult? I can understand if you are thinking of getting rid of me and replacing me with another perfectly formed pot.”
The water carrier listened to these words with both care and compassion. The cracked pot’s story of unworthiness and shame was not one that she recognized. For this was not what she thought of the pot. She knew about the crack, but did not see it as an imperfection, or as something that made it less worthy than the other pot that hung from her shoulder.
Gently she turned to the pot and said, “On our return walk home, I want you to look up and to the side of you. For too long, it would seem you have been looking down, comparing yourself to others and not noticing how you and the crack that you have in your side has brought untold beauty into my life”
Puzzled, the Cracked pot wondered what on-earth her words meant. She seemed to be suggesting that its story of lack, unworthiness and shame, was in some way faulty. As to how this could be, it could not comprehend.
However, the Cracked Pot trusted the water carrier. It occurred to it that in all the time that it had journeyed with her, she had never said a harsh word, never scorned or ridiculed it, but had always shown a sense of gratefulness and care when filling it with water.
So, on the return journey it heeded the water carrier’s words. It looked up and it looked out. In its former depressed state, it had not noticed that along the path that they traveled there was a dazzling array of beauty, color and life. The water carrier in her wisdom, knowing of the crack in the pot’s side, had sprinkled seeds along the path. These seeds were duly watered every day as a result of the crack in the pot’s side and the path that had once been barren and devoid of life was now resplendent with an array of beautiful wildflowers.
Now, the cracked pot understood. Now the cracked pot began to see itself in a new light. Now it understood that indeed it had been telling itself a faulty story. If its experience of being a ‘cracked pot’ was going to change, then it would have to change the story that it was telling itself.
Geoff Mead says, “We need to consider how our lives are shaped by the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we are here for, because knowing our stories is an essential prerequisite to claiming our personal authority and to making our unique and authentic contribution as leaders”
This week I encourage you to see the beauty in what you may perceive to be a flaw. What stories have you been telling yourself? How would you love to repattern and reframe the story you have been telling yourself?
3 Steps to Repattern Your Thoughts
Notice the thought – Pay attention to thoughts that are discouraging. These thoughts can pop up sometimes before you can stop them. But learning to recognize them can help you shift them.
Question the thought – Look at that thought, without judging it, and ask yourself whether it is helpful or true. Ask yourself questions about the situation and your thoughts. Your answers can help you find more accurate and helpful ways to think about the situation.
Replace the unhelpful thought with a more helpful one – Here’s where you can ask yourself “What’s something that’s true but more helpful?” For example, you might think, “I’ve done a lot of good work this year, and my boss noticed it. She thought there was one area I can improve. So I’ll think of some things I can do to get stronger in that area.”
Changing your thought patterns may not be easy. But our minds can be trained to be stronger and healthier—just like a muscle. With time and practice, you’ll get better at noticing unhelpful thoughts and choosing healthier thoughts instead.
